This week I found some old journal entries and was amazed at how relevant they still were to my present situation, so I decided I would share one...
Recently, I have earnestly sought to know God better. This has included knowing His will for my life, spending more time in God's Word, and praying for a new closeness to God. God has blessed me immensely just for asking. I am amazed at the things He has revealed to me in such a short time. I am grieved at the time I've wasted by not asking earlier. Since becoming a Christian in my adulthood, I've often looked at other new believers that were on fire to learn more about God and mature believers who seem to have an open, direct line of communication with God. I was always jealous and yearned for that spark they had. It was as if God had given them something that I hadn't had the honor of being privy to.
What was it that had given other believers this one-on-one connection to God that I so desperately desired to have? In the not so distant past, I believe I stumbled upon the answer to that question. What I found was that it had been there the whole time! I just had not earnestly sought to find that relationship. I read the Bible because that's what Christians are supposed to do, but as I read, nothing seemed to make much of an impact. I would find myself going longer and longer periods without reading because I just wasn't getting into it. It was another thing on my "to do" list and it seemed to be the easiest thing to eliminate on a busy day. It wasn't that I didn't want to enjoy it. I saw other people with an insatiable hunger for the Word, that were being fed by reading it, but I just wasn't.
Then a friend bought me a book for my birthday. It was a study on David by Beth Moore and I made a conscious effort to do the study. It required me to answer some personal questions and write a prayer. I found that I really enjoyed the study and I was getting something out of it. Though at first, I was not consistent, the more I did it, the more I looked forward to it. After doing the study for a while, I started looking back at the things I had written. I discovered something amazing. It was that connection that I had been looking for and thought that I didn't have. It was right there in my prayers. I could see the desires of my heart and now looking back, I see the answers that God had given. If not for being recorded in that book, I may have taken for granted all the answered prayers. I wouldn't have remembered what I had talked to God about. Therefore, I wouldn't have been able to see how He had carefully taken the time to respond to each one. It was totally amazing! Right there, in that book, as if God had taken the pen from my hand, He had written in my prayers what He desired for me, the person He wanted me to be, and what He wanted me to do.
Those prayers ignited that fire that I had so longed to have and envied in other Christians. It gave me a hunger to know God more and spend more time with Him. It also has given me the desire to share what I've learned with those around me. I want to shout from the mountain tops "Look what I've found! come and see!" I've started reading God's Word and getting it. I look forward to what He has to show me and teach me. I've seen how He puts what He wants to teach me in His Word and then shows me the same thing in the world around me to reiterated what it is that He is teaching me. It's awesome to see Him everywhere and know that He sees me right where I am and will gladly meet me there if I just ask.
Even though this journal entry was nearly 8 years ago, I still see God's sovereign hand in it. He has not changed, even though I have. There are still dry times when I get busy and don't make study a priority, but in the fruitful times, this journal entry is so true! The farther along I go in my faith journey, the fewer dry times I have. I see God's hand more and more everyday.
So if you are struggling to find that spark, find a study that speaks to you. It may be the boost you need to start a closer, more intimate walk with God. You will be amazed at how He will speak to you and reveal more and more to you everyday! Journaling will help you see God working in your life, as you go back and review the answers to prayers. It's always a faith boost when you can see His hand at work!
Matthew 7:7-8, "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened."
I will close with a prayer written in my book on the study of David...
Lord, open my heart and reveal those things in me that keep me from hearing Your voice and tapping into Your power. Show me the areas of my life that I need to recognize and change, so that I may freely communicate with You. When I am in those dry spells, please give me the still, soft reminders I need to reconnect on the intimate level I so desire to be with You. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.